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Doesn't everyone promise that lifting this will make you happy? This afternoon I went to the gym. I was feeling pretty good about myself, all sassy and cute, because I’ve lost another pound, for two pounds down. They may be squishy pounds, not hard pounds, but hey. Two pounds. (Squishy pounds are tucked inside that weight that [...] For once there is a reason to be happy that I’m “middle-aged.” Brenda Davy, Ph.D, R.D., associate professor, department of human nutrition, foods and exercise, at Virginia Tech and her pals conducted a study examining the effect of drinking two cups of water prior to each meal. The old diet myth is proved true; drinking water before [...] ??? Let me tell you a dirty little secret: sometimes, late at night, when I’m all alone in front of the television…I watch something, something with half-naked sweaty men ALL OVER IT. And oh, BABY I WANT ME SOME. Some P90X, that is. I want it, BAD. I’m sure you’ve seen the infomercials with that [...]
When we last spoke, I was reeling from the revelation that long, gruelling cardio was doing me no favors, weight-loss-wise. (It was also doing me no favors stupid-hurty-calf-wise, either, but whatevs.) All aglow with my new knowledge, I went out and got a book called The Female Body Breakthrough. I’d heard that it was a [...] I feel like I’ve gotten kind of Serious and Heady here lately, which wasn’t my intention, nor does it make me feel like I’m fitting in well amongst the rest of my compatriots, who never fail to bring The Funny. I mean, I set out to lose some weight, and instead it’s like I’m growing [...] In ur bed, catchin' ur zzzs. According to my Internet research, not getting enough sleep makes you fat. Suddenly, all has become clear. I plan to lose weight…in bed. When we are tired, we make a hormone called ghrelin that tells our bodies “OMG EAT SOMETHING FULL OF CARBS BEFORE YOU DIE OF WEARINESS,” and make [...] |
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