Monday, 15th of March 2010 at 02:21:13 AM Everybody has stuff hiding in their closets that’s super-embarrassing. Some people have teal prom dresses, or reams of dark poetry, or damning vacation photographs. I have a dress with a metallic purple astroturf collar. Maybe you have one too. We hide these things in the backs of our closets, cover them with baskets, crates, trombones, tarps, deceased vacuum cleaners, and shoes. Why are we so unwilling to discard them? On some level maybe we still do love them a little, or at least we love how we used to love them. Whatever it is, these shameful mementos can be hard to shed.
That’s the way it is with CDs. Almost everyone has CDs that cause them shame, whether it’s “Great Ladies of the Eighties” or Peter Cetera’s “Glory of Love” single. Not that I own either one of those. But someone does. Maybe even someone here. The CDs you used to love are charged with memories, from the cover art to the liner notes, and you hold onto the CDs long after you ditch the guy, or the commute, or the apartment, or the stage in your life that made them awesome.
CDs, though, like books, don’t usually get thrown into the back of closets and covered discreetly in life’s detritus. They often live on shelves like these, proudly displaying to anyone who casually walks past that you used to like Sonic Youth a lot, or that you loved Pat Benatar at all.
The Shame Pile
What you see here is only part of our CD collection: his, mine, and ours. Dan still stands by all the choices he made in the 80s, whereas I am a little ashamed that the first CD I ever bought was the soundtrack from the movie “Singles.” As I was sorting it all out, every time I found one that made me say, “Is this YOURS?” he was able to blithely respond “Yeah, and?” But when I picked up that Ned’s Atomic Dustbin CD, I remembered buying it at Madhatter Music as a college student in Bowling Green. That’s the place I found Donovan on vinyl. That’s the place I found *gulp* Compton and Batteau. So, yeah. My laughter it’s turned to blue. Because that Compton and Batteau song? I still love it. GAH.
My purpose this week was to take all the CDs out of their cases, collect all the liners, alphebetize the CDs and put them into these organizing sleeve books that Dan bought years ago for this project.
I got mostly through it. More on that next week, if I live. Along the way, I found a lot of crazy shit in these dusty plastic piles. See, not only do I have Dan’s past (Queensryche) and my past (P.J. Harvey), but I also have a crapton of CDs that were sent to me to review when I was doing reviews for AP. Some of these were cool, like Hooverphonic, sent to me by the magazine as an assignment. I also got some good stuff from Magnetic Records, like Victor Krummenacher’s Great Laugh or Dave’s True Story.
Does anyone want this?
I’ve got Alternative Press’ compilation “The First 100 Issues” that has The Cardigans’ “Love Fool,” but it also has Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci’s “If Fingers Were Xylophones.” Here’s a compilation from Plump Records: Howard Jones and Shawn Colvin are there, but joined by a band called Vitapup whose album was called “An Hour with Vitapup.” Wow, a whole hour? Here’s another weird-ass and unrecognizable compilation from RCA records. A compilation from Globe Records featuring a song called “First Bratwurst of Summer” by Those Darn Accordions.
I got a lot of compilations in the mail, but I also got individual releases. Here’s a band called Tricky Woo. The album cover features wide-eyed cartoon bears and is called “The Enemy is Real.” Neat. Because I love bears staring at me asserting how real they are.
Here’s a CD neither of us will claim: VH1 Divas Live. That must have been left behind by some houseguest. Right?
The Sorting Pile
After almost no hesitation and certainly no grief, I have a pile of CDs here that I would like to give away. Here are a few titles:
Larry King! Really!
Malvin & The Have-Nots “Save the Rainforest” Featuring Larry King. Wait. The Larry King? With the suspenders and the glasses? Yes, there he is on the album cover, shouting into a microphone. Don’t you kind of want to know what kind of album this could possibly be? Here’s the track list:
| 1. Save the Rainforest |
| 2. Happy Birthday |
| 3. The Band Can’t Play |
| 4. Picture Perfect |
| 5. Guanabang |
| 6. Hard Rock Cafe |
| 7. Time Machine |
| 8. Feliz Cumpleanos |
And according to amazon.com, Larry King actually sings with his real live voice on the first track. And apparently they do Happy Birthday twice — in English and Spanish! Guanabang? Is that like… hitting up bat turds? I could find out, if I opened the CD. But I won’t, because I want you to have that exquisite pleasure. People, you cannot get into this beauty unless you either drop $18 on amazon.com or do what I say right now. I will send this CD and several others of my choosing from this absolutely glorious stack of compilations and off the wall releases, to a random commenter on this post. Please post the most embarrassing CD you currently own. The randomizer will be my proud, unjudgmental husband, to whom I will read the titles only. If you are trying to win, make sure you link your name to something that can lead me to a way to contact you, if I don’t know you.
How’s your decluttering going? Anyone else willing to tackle their music collection? After I’m done with the CDs, dudes, I have an entire trunk full of cassettes and I’m not kidding. Many are from local bands or are live recordings I can never replace. Dare I just drag the whole thing out on the back porch and burn it? What would you do?
You can get machines that will digitize your tape or record collections
True, but then I would have to actually do it. Or, I could just shovel it all into bags and get rid of it. Would my life be significantly damaged, if that were to happen? I submit: No.
So what’s your favorite embarrassing CD?
I have no embarrassing CDs. My taste is music is now, and has always been, impeccable, especially since I purged my collection a few years ago. It may or may not have contained some Enya and the soundtrack to Twin Peaks.
I still have Rick Astley on vinyl. I’m hoping that it’s so retro it’s hip, but I suspect not.
I am seriously tempted to claim that Larry King CD and give it to my angsty tween as a birthday gift. (I am mean.)
I finally chucked my cassette collection before I moved to Georgia, three years ago. Just dropped it into a dumpster, for real. Gone are my early days of music… Huey Lewis and the News… Def Leppard… Van Halen… Men At Work… and my personal I-am-so-cool favorite… Men Without Hats.
We can dance if we want to…. (You’re welcome for the earworm!)
*GASP!* How can you be embarrassed that your first CD was the Singles soundtrack?! I still love that soundtrack. I had it first on cassette, and AFTER college I bought the CD version. I still listen to it on occasion, though, I admit, not nearly as often as I did in high school when it pretty much on constant repeat.
My most embarrassing CD…well, all of my “CDs” are in iTunes now, but I did import my entire CD collection when I first got an iPod, so I still have all the old embarrassing stuff. So. Most embarrassing goes to…Hoobastank’s debut album, Hoobastank. This coming from a girl whose collection also includes copious amounts of Garth Brooks and other bad ’90s country, as well as discs like 100% Pure Dance. To be fair, I also own every Beatles album ever released and a lot of new indie rock music (Thao and the Get Down Stay Down, The Mendoza Line, etc.).
Don’t way anything bad about Garth Brooks.
JUST TO BE CLEAR: I did not now nor did I in the past ever, evereverever, nor will in these last days before the revolution, own Peter Cetera’s Glory of Love.
I remain mysteriously silent on the subject of the Hot Ladies of the 80′s CD.
I would love to tackle the CD collection in this house, unfortunately most of the crap belongs to my dear husband, who does NOT give me permission to get rid of anything. Not even his “An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer” CD, with tracks like “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park” and “The Masochism Tango.”
Please do not send me any of your crap CDS. I have enough of my own!
Laura, my crap CDs are coming to eat your crap CDs.
Oh, I also have Sir Mixalot’s “Chief Boot Knocka” and Ice Cube’s CD that has the song “Cave Bitch” on it. And I’m not getting rid of those!
You know, I was feeling a little smug as I was reading this post, because yeah my house is cluttered and yeah I have lots of work to do making it more livable, but our CDs are in pretty good shape.
But then you said the c-word: “cassettes.”
When my husband was in the Navy during the first Gulf War, he made me mix tapes. There’s one that’s all songs about places. He called “Yeomon’s Honour” which is a Secret Anagram for “our honeymoons.” How could I put that on the curb? At the same time, the cassettes were in the attic when our two-flat was re-roofed in…oh my goodness…in 2001, and they haven’t been the same since.
Wait, I know! Maybe I will pull out the labels with the song lists and save those in my box of mementos from college. Then I can trash the cassettes. I will have to see if he has strong opinions on the matter. Today I am tackling the toys, which are less fraught.
I got a happy feeling when I discovered that my idea for spring cleaning (organizing the CDs and putting them in sleeves while disposing of those bulkly jewel cases) has been validated. However, dear RNG, I will under NO circumstances take ANY of the CDs offered. I won’t. If you send them I will return them along with several from my collection, including meditation muzak.
My most embarrassing that I have right now would probably have to be my Owl City CD, I mean I wouldn’t let my friends know I have that CD.
I have several or 25 RECORD ALBUMS stuffed in my closet. YES I AM THAT OLD, but I believe these were all my husband’s and they will not be going anywhere.
I’m going to have to say the most embarrassing CD I have now is a collection from Kathy Lee Gifford. For the record, I DID NOT BUY IT. It totally belongs to one of the children.
Ahem.
Ace of Base. And also maybe cough*Millivanilli*cough.
Blame it on the rain.
I’ve made the switch to all mp3s, but my husband still has the soundtrack to The Bodyguard in a box in the attic. The Bodyguard came out in 1992…. when he was 12.
ha! I beat you to this! Did this two years ago, but kept the cases ’cause I like my IKEA, CD shelf so much. Most embarrassing then – Ace of Base. Most embarrassing now – FlyLady.
If you give me any of those CDs I will hang them on the farm to scare away the critters AND make you listen to “Feather Duster Shake” from FlyLady.
I am SO SAD that someone mentioned Hoobastank’s self-titled as the most embarrassing! I won that CD from the local radio station when I was 13 and I still listen to it often. I also own all their other CDs, shamelessly, I say! My most embarrassing pick? Well, I’m proud of all my music but my friends make fun of my workout playlist that includes hits (and misses) from Hanson, Blu Cantrell, Elton John, Papa Roach, Bread, Cyndi Lauper, and quite a few Disney favorites!
My most embarrassing are 4 Non Blondes, Milli Vanilli and Culture Club. The last one is on tape. It was a present, and even though I found it hugely embarrassing at the time, I never threw it out. Why??
As for organizing — A couple years ago I bought four four inch 3-ring binders and stuffed them full with (organized alphabetically by company, then chron by statement) the last 7 yrs of credit card statements and checking/savings account statements. Yesterday I revisited these and updated them all! I also separated my car repair receipts/stuff from my insurance stuff (why I’m keeping all old car insurance/apt. insurance stuff is a mystery) – they are now in their own separate hanging files. I brought the old statements to work and put the industrial shredder to good use.
It’s very silly how accomplished that made me feel yesterday.
*p.s. Please don’t send me any CDs. Please.
**p.p.s. For the ten week challenge I lost 11 pounds! Thanks for the inspiration, everyone!!!
That’s it. I’m sending you all CDs. Ten each.
Most embarrassing – Ace of Base. I have recently sorted through my CDS and listed the ones that I no longer want on swapacd.com. You can trade unwanted CDs for credits toward CDs you want, or you can transfer the credits to paperbackswap.com for used books. You can also swap books on PaperBackSwap – I pink puffy heart that site, it feeds my book addiction without breaking my budget. How this will help with decluttering, I’m not exactly sure…
Like Nicole said, please do not send me any CDs!
I ADORE Tom Lehrer – I want the box set but it’s been out of print for a while. sigh
My most embarrassing CD ever wasn’t mine, it was my ex-husbands… The John Tesh Project’s “Sax All Night”.
I’m using the DiskSox system for organizing my CDs. I’ve found if I put them away in folios, I don’t ever play them. Truly out of sight, out of mind.
Um… yeah, Wham! I have more than one Wham! recording. They’re on tape, though, not CD. At least I didn’t buy them on CD, but I can still (if I so choose, although I do NOT) listen to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go and/or Wham! Rap whenever I want to.
Most embarrassing CD is… let’s see. Abba! I have Abba’s Greatest Hits and Super Trouper. ON CD. I still like them, too, which is the REALLY embarrassing part. I will admit my love to my husband, and my sisters (my sisters actually share it) but I wouldn’t reveal it to anybody I just met. But I guess now the internets know. Oh well.
I am proud to say that I have several Pat Benatar CDs, ABBA’s Greatest Hits double CD, and nearly every album ever produced by both the Monkees and Rick Springfield (including a record from 1972 where he has the most incredible hippie hair).
I am a little embarrassed to admit that I own a record by The Time (remember the bad guy in Prince’s movie, Purple Rain?), every album by Def Leppard (even though I’m cursed and every time I buy something Def Leppard something bad happens), Tom Wopat’s “The Still of the Night” (think torch songs) and a Doctor Demento double CD.
I categorically deny owning a tape by Vanilla Ice. Or one by Samantha Fox with the song “Touch Me (I Want Your Body).” Or a CD by New Kids on the Block knock-offs Guys Next Door. (They had a TV series. They sang. They were cute.)
Since we’re talking about things hidden in the closet… I still have my Outsiders movie scrapbook, which contains every photo taken in 1982 of Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, C. Thomas Howell, Matt Dillon, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise and Ralph Macchio. Plus the poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost. In calligraphy. And also “translated” phonetically using the Greek alphabet. (Unfortunately, that’s all true.)