What does it mean to spring clean? SO far, we mostly seem to think it means we have to get shovels and attack our crap-closets. This next week, please choose something horrible in your house and join us as we try to bring order out of chaos very literally. A word to the wise: Get your own most hatefully cluttered closet done NOW because I am hearing rumbles, both internal and from my fellow Platelets, that this literal understanding of spring cleaning will not continue for all four weeks. Some of us are going to go haring off into metaphor.
I know in my case, this is because 1) I hate cleaning and 2) the nooks and crannies of my house are SO PILED and FILTHY that my basement, attic , garage, and closets are probably all EQUALLY RIDDLED with bodies. How many times can I find a bloated corpse under an old pup tent and and still be surprised enough to blog about it? Twice, I suggest. After that it becomes passé. So I will get my kids rooms ready for spring this week, and then I shall begin to look for OTHER things I can clean out, reorganize, or renew, including my hard drive, my FILTHY brains, and even the rusty slice of soul I keep I my back pocket.
Here at the end of challenge one, my scale SAYS I am down 5 pounds since the start…to which I say, The Hell??? Down five pounds? My bloated peapod of a body says that’s crap—I am so swollen and puffed that I honestly look like I am up five more. And 48 hours ago I was OVER my start weight. So who knows? The shots are boogering me up, and I won’t know what horrifying number I actually weigh until I finish medicating in early April. At this point, though? I need the good news, so I shall cheerfully accept it. YAY! I am five pounds down, if you say so, scale. If my scale should tomorrow tell me I am an octopus, I am willing to accept that, too.
Considering how VERY dire my children’s closets are, I would find the extra arms quite useful this week.
Mir says: This week I gained and lost and gained and lost the same pound over and over until I killed it with large plates of spinach. I made it to 10 pounds. And now I am going to stop weighing myself. YAY!
For our next challenge, my goals are twofold: First, there’s no denying there’s PLENTY of just plain decluttering/organizing that has to happen here in my house (most notably: our master bedroom has become Crap Repository Central, and my son cannot seem to keep his room tidy to save his life, which I consider a failing of organization up there). So cleaning-wise, sure, I have more than enough to tackle. But second, I have been slowly inching towards greater eco-friendliness in our day-to-day lives, and I think I may be ready to take one more giant step: We are going to give up our over-reliance on paper products (paper towels, paper napkins, and my personal cocaine: Clorox wipes). That’s a lot to do in four weeks. I’m… a little frightened. We’ll see how it goes.
Gray says: As of this morning I’ve lost 2.2 lbs. Yay! This week I learned that Stelara can cause murderous thumping headaches. My first spring cleaning effort will be to make ready our spare-room/office/game-room/library/family-room for Joss to come visit later this year. I will be bucking hard against my husband’s desire to clutch every book we’ve ever owned tightly to his manly chest. In fact, to clutch EVERYTHING we’ve ever owned. Wish me luck.
Lydia says: I have lost 5 pounds and 1 ounce total in the ten weeks. And now I’m going to stop weighing myself for a month, while I continue to elliptical and diet. We’ll see. I’m increasingly concerned about being thinner for France. I don’t know how I’m going to interpret the challenge over the course of all four weeks but I am starting this weekend with our CDs, getting them off the shelves they’re on, out of all the wrong cases they’re in, and into the sleevey book things we’ve had waiting for them for maybe years. After that, I may do my closet three times.
Kira says: I have lost nothing, yet again. Still stuck at 6.5 pounds down. But I’m pretty pleased with myself, nonetheless, because I’m kind of hot. No, what I meant was that the pants I bought about a month ago are practically FALLING OFF ME (translation: a little loose), despite the fact that I haven’t actually dropped much weight since then. So I am clearly adding muscle and blah blah blah and sort of hot.
I’m going to start the next challenge by tackling my laundry room, which is a pit. No, that’s insulting to the good name of pits everywhere. It is a maelstrom of dust and piles of clothes that need a button or some stupid mending thing and papers I don’t want to deal with and old school work that I need to keep because their preshus widdle hands created it and wrapping paper and lint and broken toys. I am not exactly looking forward to it. It’s a good thing I’m sort of hot (drudgery is always easier on the hot).