Friday, 19th of February 2010 at 05:27:34 AM I feel like I’ve gotten kind of Serious and Heady here lately, which wasn’t my intention, nor does it make me feel like I’m fitting in well amongst the rest of my compatriots, who never fail to bring The Funny. I mean, I set out to lose some weight, and instead it’s like I’m growing as a person, or something, and as Joss is fond of saying, WE DON’T DO THAT HERE. At least, I try not to. It’s so messy. And feeling-y.
So here’s the deal: My goal was to lose some weight. Now that I am actually losing weight, I’m realizing that was kind of a stupid goal.
Well, no. Losing weight isn’t in and of itself a stupid goal. It’s just that I wasn’t truly overweight, I was just unhappy with myself. And even though I’m losing weight and therefore fitting back into my pants and therefore feeling happier with myself, it—surprise!—has not fixed the underlying problem, which is that I am just not on very good terms with my body.
I am not quite as happy (or airborne) as this lady on the beach.
And it’s not that I don’t believe in hypnosis, because actually I do. But I’m also just the sort of snobbish “realist” who believes it won’t work for me, you know, on account of I’m so logical and stuff. (I know. I’m not defending my position.)
Anyway, Holly and I got in touch, and Holly was generous enough to give me a set of her Lighten Up! CDs to listen to at home. I ripped the CDs to my iPod and started listening to them daily with no results—though, to be fair, I wasn’t expecting any—and then after talking with Holly about my frustration, she was the one who suggested I picture myself at my ideal weight. And somehow, that was the thing that changed my progress. The weight started coming off.
I felt really good for about two weeks, and although I’m still losing weight, I’m also becoming increasingly aware that it’s not the size of my thighs that is the problem, but my view of myself. That still needs some work. Okay, a lot of work. And Holly’s CDs address some of that, so I guess I’ll keep listening.
Just so we’re clear: I got the CDs for free (thanks, Holly!), and I didn’t really think they’d work (also, I don’t believe in Christmas, or puppies), but I am definitely seeing results. And thinking more deeply about this experience, which may or may not be related to Holly’s CDs. Damn her. Damn her and her excellent work reprogramming my brain!
Apparently Holly’s CDs do not promote better manners. Just weight loss and a bit of self-examination. (Dear Holly, I hope you have a sense of humor. I am really not trying to be a jerk, it just sort of comes naturally to me sometimes.)
In conclusion, I apologize for being all introspective and stuff, but it seems to be a side effect of thinking. And I encourage you to check out Holly’s site and her CDs if you’re in that “Nothing’s working!” kind of place where you just feel completely stuck. I have been there and it’s no fun, and as hard as working through some of these “why don’t I feel better about myself?” feelings are, I much prefer this place, where I’m making progress, losing weight, and actually thinking about what I want.
As for lightening up, mood-wise? I’m working on that, too. Maybe I need to get a scarf and go jump around on the beach like the lady in the picture.
Hmmm. CDs to help me work on my self-image…sounds like a great idea. I’ve often toyed with hypnosis for weight loss. May be one of the only things I haven’t tried. (Let’s see…pills, potions, lotions, patches…yup, pretty much just leaves hypnosis and surgery.) I may work on this.
In my night time dreams I’m always the skinny lass I was BEFORE I married my husband, so my subconscious must see me as thin. Maybe.
[...] the meantime, I’ve finally unveiled the key to my success over at Five Full Plates, and you might be surprised to find out what it is. I know I was. But hey, I’m not arguing. [...]
Wait, what? Introspection is a side effect of THINKING?! So THAT’S what’s been causing all of my naval gazing.
Darn brain.
I think finding an indoor play-area type thingy and jumping around in the ballpit with the kids would do the trick, too.
Just make sure Otto takes pics.
That’s the thing about good therapy. It doesn’t impose changes from the outside. It sneaks up on you. One day, when you are about to react to something in your old, not-so-healthy way, you find yourself questioning that reaction and realizing you can choose to react in another way.
Name the beach. I will bring the scarves:)
Thank you Mir for the highlights! Just a quick quip in here, yes I do have a sense of humor
! Hypnosis can really “woo woo” to lot of people because most of what we see is the stage scenes where people are out of control, though funny to watch others eat onions, its scary – who wants to be walking around like a zombie? Hypnosis or Guided Visualizations are really just a way of focusing your thoughts, to help your brain make new habits. Nobody wants to be “programmed,” but the truth is, we already have programs running, whether from the media, friends, family, and all the ideas of how we “should” be. What we think about creates mental habits and these programs once they are habits can feel out of our control- like cravings and even addictions.
Rather than fighting ourselves with the struggle, we can use our thoughts to create new habits. (For those of you who are more practically minded) I made the guided visualizations as a way for women to release the struggle and get to what they really want! Ideally, our mind and body can work together to manage our weight without our effort (it manages many things already automatically) so that we can get to the important things of life like relationships, living our passion, and even thinking and self reflection.
I myself am okay with the feely stuff – but I work with it for a living. Thanks Mir!
Just curious, do you listen to the CD’s daily? How long are they? Do you listen to the same CD or rotate through different ones?
I do try to listen to one a day. I tend to listen to one for several days in a row and then switch to another one if I feel I need more “help” in another area. Each one is about 40 minutes long, but you can listen while going to sleep or doing something else.
Without listening to teh cds, etc – I found that by just trying the picture myself where I want to be – I am losing weight again – I felt stuck for awhile. Yes I am exercising and watching calories – but I’m not tracking every calorie and I don’t exercise every day. But I am working on my image of myself and feeling much better, more confident and the weight is finally coming off! So thanks for being my inspiration.