Thursday, 4th of February 2010 at 11:45:17 PM 
Oh, look. My tail fell off. And my lean-to blew over. And THE WORLD IS ENDING!
It didn’t seem like it was possible, but here I was. Working hard. Checking in every week and getting more and more frustrated, until the Week 4 check-in had me all but taking my ball and going home. Because—make no mistake—if not for this blog, I would’ve been all, “Screw this, I’m done!” a couple of weeks ago.
I persevered, though, because while I am more than comfortable letting myself down (another issue for another day!), I couldn’t let these other fine ladies down, nor risk the face loss that would occur if I threw the 38-year-old equivalent of a loser’s temper tantrum. Also, there was the matter of the shoes.
My purple Frankenshoes.
Nevertheless, as we’ve discussed, last week I was far too busy feeling sorry for myself to think too much about my new hideous shoes. No, my time was spent bitching to anyone and everyone that I was doing everything right and making no progress and wah wah wah WAH.
So I’m going to get a little woo-woo on you here for a minute, but try to stick with me. It was suggested to me that I picture myself at my ideal weight. That I focus on the number I want to see on the scale, even. That I imagine looking in the mirror and seeing myself exactly the way I want to look.
This is about the transformative power of the mind, right? But I’m not actually comfortable with that. Too woo-woo for me, you know. So somehow (after a few days of stomping around) I decided that hey, I can imagine all that stuff without a problem. Only it’s not about my mind being powerful, or me willfully flexing my powers of body dysmorphia, but about The Mighty Purple Shoes doing a little secret superhero thing. They’re my cape, if you will. I know it’s silly. I was more comfortable with that, though, and whatever works is good. So I went for it.
I wore my purple shoes. (Clomp, clomp.) I pictured myself at my ideal weight. I envisioned the number I want to see on the scale. I took a pair of boot-cut jeans I never wear because they’re a little more form-fitting on the thighs than I like to the tailor… to have them made into skinny jeans. (Previous body dysmorphia demanded that I not even consider skinny jeans, lest my thighs conquer Atlanta while people cowered in fear.) And then I went and bought myself a fabulous (read: very colorful, and different from my normal wardrobe) tunic top to go with said skinny jeans. I made an appointment to get my hair done. I stopped tracking my calories—I’ve done it long enough to know exactly how many calories just about everything I eat has, and I know how to make good choices and stay in range without charting everything, so I stopped. I’m not going to tell you I like exercising any more than I used to, but let’s say I think maybe I’m starting to hate it less.
I’m going to save my actual progress number for the Saturday check-in, but I’ll tell you this: Whatever it is, it’s working. The gap between the woman I picture and the woman I am is closing.
I know it sounds ridiculous. I think it’s ridiculous.
And my shoes are definitely ridiculous.
But I’m thinking maybe I need a purple belt to go with ‘em, because my pants are all starting to fall down.
Way to go!
Okay… the poem is going through my head…
“When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red bow and red hat that doesn’t suit me me…”
So…careful. You are too young to pair it with the proverbial red hat.
And…yay!
Sounds to me like there MAY have been something to all us people here telling you something about losing fat and adding muscle sometimes doesnt translate to a scale, but you can tell in the clothes. So there! maybe you ARE doing better than you think…. Nyah!
P.S.: nothing like a good natured raspberry to add positive reinforcement. PbbBBbbbBttTTTT!
I am a great believer in the power of magic shoes. This is why I own four pairs of FitFlops and two pairs of Nike Frees. I’m so glad your magic shoes are working for you, Mir! And they’re even kind of cute, in a hiking-boot way.
WOOT!
But
Why can’t magic shoes be pretty? Which is, I suppose, rather like the other question – why can’t pretty shoes be comfortable? Sigh. I’m capable of pretending my pretty, pretty shoes are oh-so-comfy (shut UP feet!) but I think stretching that to include magically-muscle-producing might be a bit much, even for my powers of delusion.
However! This morning I put on my thermals under my jeans (what?? I scooter to work and it’s COLD…ish) and know what? My jeans are STILL too big! Let’s hear it for week-whatever-this is!
You rock!
I don’t have fancy shoes, but I have had something just as powerful the past few days. The stomach flu. I swear, I lost 10 lbs. in 3 days. If it wasn’t for the cramps, and vomiting, and thinking I was going to die at the time, I’d recommend it to everyone.
I want a pair of magic shoes for when summer is over and I can’t wear my fit flops…are the pretty purple frankenshoes RYNs or something else?
The shoes are supposedly the Korean-branded MBTs… they say KSR on them, but I found them by searching for MBTs. (And yes, they came from Korea, with Korean tags that probably said “Ha ha American sucker!”)
I was also hoping you would share which brand of shoe you bought. Can you tell us?
Ridiculous has been working for me for a long time. I am NOT a runner, but pictured myself as one…and I am up to 3 miles and my first 5K race in two weeks. Go us!
Holy cow, those shoes are expensive! And MBT makes boots for almost $400. Do you notice you are wearing them? The website says it’s like walking in sand?
Yes, that’s why I got Korean ones on eBay (for a lot less). I don’t think it feels like walking in sand; I actually find them incredibly comfortable, but I do notice more muscle fatigue in my upper legs when I do. Like, yes, my butt is a little sore after I walk around in them for an hour.
What about the klutz factor? I worry about shoes that add instability on purpose, when sometimes I trip or lose my balance over nothing as it is.
I’m very klutzy, too, and I honestly haven’t noticed these affecting my balance adversely. I think in some ways (maybe because the sole is so substantial?) I actually feel MORE balanced.
I LOVE THEM! And I got mine on ebay for STILL too much money, but not 400 bucks good lord.
I want more pairs.
I am klutzier than Mir; TWICE I almost tumbled backwards down an escaltor at the airport. Watch the rounded HEEL PART on stairs, especially the TRICKSY MOVING KIND of stairs, and you will be fine.
I’ve been watching what I eat (though I wouldn’t call it “dieting”) AND going to the gym for a year now. Hadn’t gotten on a scale until a doctor’s appointment last week and I’ve GAINED four pounds. This is not funny… and if one more person gives me the “muscle weighs more than fat” routine, they MIGHT get hurt.
Though, I do have to admit, I have several pairs of slacks that I could now remove with the button buttoned and the zipper zipped so yeah, I guess it is working.