Monday, 21st of December 2009 at 11:33:01 PM 
For those coming late to the party, Mir recently came up with the theory that losing ten pounds in ten days would be hardest for her because she is the smallest of us, and so she would be trying to lose the greatest percentage of her body mass. Clearly the four of us would have a much easier time.
As she has documented, my response was a supportive, nurturing, love-filled cry of “WAH WAH WAH. Suck it up and just DO it already.” I should have stopped there. But. I did not stop there. Oh no. There was more.
Mir, I said, You have it figured all wrong. Kira is clearly going to have the hardest time. Kira is BREAST FEEDING. I remember those days, the sudden ravaging Nursing-Hunger opening up like a great gaping hole at the pit at me, a swirling vortex of refrigerator bound carnage with a single objective: to be face down in the cheese drawer. I would come to, mid snap, mid-rend, after decimating whole hunks of cheddar and any hapless lunch bolognas that were foolish enough to stand in the way.
There was not time for rational thought, much less for good choices. There was only The Eating, and The Eating, once begun, went on until it was finished. Kira will have to never never let herself hit that point, and if she does she will somehow have to make good, healthy choices. She will CLEARLY have the hardest time…except for Gray.
Gray has an auto-immune disorder that is seriously borking up her system. Some days, she CANNOT exercise without hurting herself more than she would be helping herself. She also has diabetes, and must keep her blood sugar regulated, and diabetics have a notoriously hard time losing weight. She will clearly the hardest time…except for me.
Genetically? I am shafted. My people are a rounded lot. Morbid obesity plagues every member of my family who is not fanatical about exercise and diet. My metabolism is naturally set for “Sluggish, with a tendency to play possum as if entirely dead.” I have had PERFECT weeks, PERFECT, where I worked out every day, ate perfect weight watchers, not just staying OP, but using my points for fruit and oil and lean chicken, and at the end of the week, have lost an ounce, or nothing, or gained half a pound. Mir, on the other hand, has the metabolism of a crack addled rabbit, and if she will exercise and get it revving, the ten pounds will MELT off her. SO clearly I am going to have the hardest time…except maybe for you.
And that’s just true. Because if you decide to join us in this ten week madness of moderation and motion, then it is absolutely YOU who will have the hardest time. Because it will be YOUR ten pounds. MY ten pounds comes off (or not) with no bother of fuss required by you, so yours is harder. You have your own specific reason you are holding all sneaky in your heart right now about why you can’t do it but MIR can, or I can. Obviously.
So I guess Mir is right. She WILL have the hardest time. And so will I. Because we each have our own Waterloo. What’s yours? Get it out there. Say all your reasons why you will have the hardest time of all NOW, because come January One you need to know what thing makes your ten pounds the hardest to lose, and have a plan to WIN OVER IT.
Mine is my Road Kill Metabolism. My plan? I am going to jack that puppy up with a personal trainer designed system of SHOCK AND AWE. I went to the trainer for an initial meet and assessment today, and told him what I wanted, and we made a little fat-butted me on the computer and then made a new one ten pounds from now, and then I made him put shredded up abs on her so I could giggle.
At the end of the talking parts he said to me earnestly, “We are going to keep your muscles SURPRISED! They won’t know what is coming! BOOM! WHAM! LIKE THAT!” Then he made me teeter-stand on this half a ball thing called a BOSU (pictured above) and lift weights until I cried. It was AWESOME.
When I told Mir about my new plan, she said, “YOU GOT A PERSONAL TRAINER! THAT’S CHEATING YOU CHEATER! NOW IT REALLY IS GOING TO BE HARDEST FOR ME!”
And she is right. The only person who will have an easy time is LYDIA, because she followed all those links and she knows all 100 of the number 1 only secret rule to get rid of stubborn belly fat. Cake.
Losing 10 probably wouldn’t be that hard for me…I’ve done it before, and unfortunately I need to lose about 20x that. So I’m just all kinds of screwed. If I could lose the 10, and then ANOTHER 10 (and another, and another *sigh*), instead of just the same 10 all over again, I’d be laughing.
It’s going to be hardest for me because my husband just left for a year long deployment. And there’s no one at home to give “be ashamed of yourself for eating a bowl of frosting eyes” except for the fridge. He never gives me those eyes. That and the emotional eating that I’m going to have to avoid.
We can do it. You can give me the eyes, right?
It’s going to be the hardest for me because my bed locks me in at o’god thirty in the morning and won’t let me exercise. And I have three kids and I can’t deprive them of the cookies and treats. And I work full-time so OH, the GUILT. And plus, my panties are quite so tight that they are cutting off my circulation… yet. I could go on and on. But instead, I asked for a cheap DVD player for upstairs (so I don’t have to wiggle and jiggle in front of anyone) and I already bought the 30 day shred. I’ll also pull out my Weight Watchers stuff. I made lifetime 6 years ago. And haven’t seen that number since then. 15 lbs will get me there, though, so 10 is a good start.
It’s going to be hardest for me because I have zero childcare during hours when I can go to the gym… hubby is active duty and must PT (do physical training) twice a day, at 5:45 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. and doesn’t get home until 6 wah wah wah wah and there’s no childcare at the gym wah wah wah. I have FIVE FREE personal training sessions to use up, plus they’re only $25/5 sessions after that… so I really want to GO to the gym… but wah wah wah.
There.
Am I supposed to feel better now? Because I just feel like a big, fat, whiny (emphasis on the BIG and the FAT) wuss.
I no longer think it will be hard for me. I’m currently in a Bad Place and can’t stomach much food. What will be hard is that I won’t stay in the Bad Place. And once I feel better again…I’ll realize I’ve been denying my hunger and go crazy…the kind of crazy you described and rightly attributed to the breastfeeding mom. Only see, I twice was a breastfeeding mom and my body remembers…
Never mind. You’re right. It will be hardest for me.
“You have your own specific reason you are holding all sneaky in your heart right now” – this made me cry. Seriously, tears are rolling down my face. I lost a lot of weight (70 pounds) a year ago, and I’ve gained nearly all of it back because of the monster that has taken over my brain. You’re familiar with it – the “face down in the cheese drawer” monster, although mine is activated by stress and (maybe) depression. It started with little things then increased to a snack every night, which turned into entire LARGE Hershey bars coated with peanut butter, and the next thing I knew I was polishing off the Christmas cookie DOUGH. Then lying in bed wondering if I was going to die in the night. I figure that eating is my version of self-medicating, and I need to find a different medication. Exercise, even the mild stuff that I can manage now, is my goal. That, and bitch-slapping the monster when it pokes its head up.
Heather — I lost 12 with the Heart Association and then just concentrated on KEEPING at least 10 of them off. For months. It has given me a new “set point” and after a couple of days of indulgence, if I go up, I find a day or two SRS attention to veggies brings me BACK to the set point. This might work for you? Lose ten and then just work on holding that ground for a few months until your body believes that is its home base weight? It SEEMS to be working for me…
Nikki — I feel for you.I’m an army brat, so I know from deployment. Your husband and all our troops are in my prayers. Get some paper and DRAW big accusing eyes and cut them out and tape them to the fridge??
Mary Fran has a PLAN! Yay, you.
Damsel—WHY does the gym have no childcare. GARGLE! Can you swap with a friend, take hers if she takes yours? I always like that because 1) it is free and 2) if the kids get along it is like playdates and they busy each other and I get more done at home. HEE.
Nicki, It will be hardest for you. *nodnodnod* Here is hoping you find a way out of The Bad Place soon, 10 pounds or no, because The Bad Place is Bad. I have a condo there. I try to keep it rented out but soemtimes I go, too.
SANDI, you need to get yourself a new color of toe polish, or whatever it is that cheers you. GIVE YOURSELF A PRESENT for smartly seeing through yourself, and then get right to the bitch slapping. Bitch slapping can be VERY soothing, and if you do it vigorously and repeatedly, is also good cardio. *nodnodnod*
Ok, if we’re going to say why it’s hardest for each of us to lose weight, I present you with my list…
1. I am Mommy to two small children. They do not understand, “Mommy can’t hold you right this second because she’s working out.”
2. 5:30 is really damn early. That’s the only time I have in my day to workout.
3. Really…let’s be honest, 10 pounds isn’t going to do much on my frame…except I know it’ll make me start to feel better.
4. I work 40 hours a week. I drive 2 hours a day between dropping off my kids at daycare, driving to work, driving home, etc.
5. Did I mention that 5:30 is freaking early?
6. I, too, come from round people. I’d like to (someday) be the skinny one in the group!
What I need to focus on though is that I NEED to lose this weight. I have two small children who love me to pieces and I’d love to be able to (someday) say, “I am the Mommy to two grown men who are fantastic assets to their communities.” –but I won’t be able to say that if I stay this size.
I think we need to have FFP t-shirts. They should say something like: Truth, Justice, and BITCH-SLAPPING.
(Also, I love this post. I love YOU. It’s this sort of thing, this is why. You do not let me “poor little bunny” myself, and you are smart and right.)
Oh, you are JUST SO RIGHT.
It IS going to be hardest for ME!
Wait, what?
This post is so very TRUE and KIND and LOVING and resonant with everyone in the world who struggles with weight. <3 <3
It’s hardest for me because I’m a breastfeeding, already exercising, vegetarian, small framed woman with small children who has been trying to lose the same last 4 lbs of baby weight since last April.
Also it’s hardest for me because I’m lazy.
(Also, I don’t really think that it’s going to be hardest for me.)
I think it will be hardest for me for a variety of reasons:
1. I go to the gym regularly and eat fairly healthy meals, but have a sloooooow metabolism – and it is so disheartening to do so much work and see so little result that I get discouraged and difficult to motivate
2. I’m an incredible baker. My apple pies would make you cry tears of joy. Do you know what it is like to have that power and not wield it??
3. I have a crazy work schedule, and my husband is being called out of town for three+ months on family business. So when I’m not working, I’m doing all the house responsibilities, etc.
But on the bright side, I did the 12 Weeks as well and lost 9.5 pounds — and have managed to keep 8.5 off since the end of the 12 weeks. So I have to keep it up! And if I can do it, anyone can
I, like, Cathy, have Amazing Baking Powers. I, like kat, am already small and vegetarian.
But the reason that this will be hard for me (not hardEST but hard)?
I DON’T DRIVE! I can’t go to my awesome gym unless my gym buddy goes but she just got pregnant so she isn’t going. So I walk and do some workouts at home but it is not intense enough to make a difference! AND I can’t drive to the grocery store so I can’t stock up on my fruits and vegs and end up eating crap by the end of the week (I WALK to the store and can only carry home 25lbs at a time, yanno?)
So really it is the driving.
DOH I misquoted! It was NOT Mir. It was GRAY who called me a cheater for getting a trainer. HEE sorry MIR!
Also, you forgot to say that the REAL REASONS that it will be most difficult for ME is because:
1. My most natural posture is reclining.
2. Power-napping is my favorite sport.
3. I still don’t have an empowering adventure lined up for my workout time.
It will be hardest for me because I have been really trying for a long time to lose a stupid seven lbs which was a present from baby #2 (who is four years old now) and cannot seem to lose it, and have in fact gained five to seven MORE lbs somehow (*ahem* cookies and wine, repeat). I have even gotten within shouting distance of my old WW goal weight from 2004 a couple times, but it does not want to see me anymore, and that is really tough when I feel like I am being as disciplined as anyone can possibly be expected to be.
And my office mates eat MCDONALDS and CHICKFILA and blahblahblah…. cry cry cry……
It may be cheating but I LOVE, LOVE ,LOVE my trainer. I use her twice a week and she makes me do all the icky hard things I would never make myself do on my own. She sits up late at night coming up with new and creative was to torture me and I think she is DA BOMB!!! The key is find what works for you. I like having someone weigh and measure me because it keeps me honest.
So . . I’m possibly not the only person on the planet who actually GAINED weight while nursing?
It will be hardest for me because my husband brings me home the world’s best chocolate; my schedule is totally unpredictable, and I have spent the past 20 years exercising, and I’m tired of it and bored with exercising. I eat when I am tired, sad, or bored. I fill my heart holes with food. My mother-in-law is losing her battle with ovarian cancer, I have to take the boards, I have to find a job this summer, we have to move by this time next year, my father-in-law will be coming to live with us, should we move to california instead of new york so life will be easier for him and cheaper for us, should i job hunt there, should I job hunt here, my roots are showing and I don’t have $300 to do anything about it, the one time I colored my hair at home it was a disaster, all this looming stuff just hanging over me.
And my back and foot hurt when I do any exercise serious enough to actually burn calories.