Thursday, 17th of December 2009 at 11:45:27 PM 
Marriage has made me fat and happy.
I say this, often, because it amuses me. But I think I am also saying it because I would like to blame my husband for the fact that he buys ice cream (and brings me a bowl in the evening if I make sad eyes at him) and pops popcorn (with real butter, because duh) and—the final unforgivable kicker—rolls his eyes when I complain that I’ve gone flabby and need to lose weight. “You look perfect to me,” he says.
["Awwwwwwww!" say all of the readers who wish they had a mate so smitten. Of course, I don't know if he's smitten or just scared. I mean, what sort of idiot agrees when his wife says she's out of shape? The poor guy really has no choice.]
But this part is not my true beef, actually. No, my problem goes much deeper than the fact that my husband feeds me well and thinks I look great (that bastard).
The problem is this: I asked my husband if he wanted to do the challenge along with me, in January. And he said, “I don’t know. Are the other husbands going to do it?” And then, I’m sorry, I had to hurt him a little.
Look, I want to lose ten pounds. I wouldn’t be in danger of starvation or anything at ten pounds down, but it wouldn’t leave me much (possibly any) spare weight on my frame if I met my goal. Ten lousy pounds. I’m ten pounds over where I want to be, and I’m hideously self-conscious about how I look. I agonize over everything I eat. I’m fairly mentally ill about it. The one saving grace (I guess) is that I don’t have any belly fat, which research leads one to believe is the biggest health risk when you’re talking about extra weight.
My husband, on the other hand, is a lot bigger and taller than I am, and the last time he was sick for a few days he lost eight pounds without even trying. He eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and doesn’t think twice. Heart disease runs in his family and he does have the belly that makes doctors frown. He, however, is perfectly at ease with himself and is only interested in trying to lose some weight if it’s somehow expected of him for a special reason. Like, that the other husbands will make fun of him if he doesn’t.
The whole thing made me furious, because it’s SO not fair that I’m this neurotic with 10 extra pounds when he’s perfectly happy with 20. NOT FAIR, I say. Particularly when research suggests that if we do exactly the same things, the weight will melt off of him while my body stubbornly clings to my cellulite.
In conclusion, I love my husband very much, and he is extremely cute, and if he doesn’t get on the diet and exercise bandwagon with me in January, I cannot be held responsible for any subsequent violence while under the influence of chocolate deprivation.
I’m quite positive that I heard chocolate deprivation was an acceptable legal defense according to the supreme court. So, you’ll have that going for you. I’m just thinking you may miss him a lot…or your non-existent belly will. Unbelievable. I may have some of that belly fat. In fact it is only second to my thigh fat. And right now, I’m trying desperately to rid the house of all the junk food before the challenge. Unfortunately, I seem to be accomplishing this by devouring it. Maybe this is a bad approach…
Mir, late-thirties and you have no belly fat? SHUT…UP. No, really.
So not really related to this blog entry, but have you guys considered adding a community component to this? It sure has inspired me and you have a robust following.
I so hear you on the husband-losing-weight thing. My husband and I both started working out over the summer. The weight just melted off him, the bastard. I’ve lost some, don’t get me wrong. And I feel much healthier and better about myself. But he is SKINNY now, the jerk, and I still have a ways to go. I think homicide is an option.
By the way, I’d like to second Jodie’s motion. I don’t know how complicated it would be, but it would be really cool to have a community here.
My husband and I are in the exercise/healthy thing together. I don’t think I could do it without him or at least if he ate junk in front of me. He’s also more likely to throw me a knowing look if I eat a cookie than to throw me one. Before kids we exercised together. Now we just help each other find the time although in summer we bike together. We’re running our first half marathon near the end of march.
This is a round about way of telling Otto that at least one husband is in this
(although he’s not trying to lose ten lbs)
Wanted to second Jodie’s community aspect – I plan to get on the losing 15 lbs bandwagon on January 1st. (Or 4th since Jan 3rd is my daughter’s christening with luncheon at Maggiano’s…)
And I’m not sure what’s worse – the husband who is happy with his 20 lbs or my husband who weighs less than my goal weight and is 5 inches taller…but I did accept that when I married him.
Wait a minute – since when does Otto care what the other husband’s are doing? Unless it’s in a “I’ve already upstaged them so many times that once more might incite them to shove me off a cliff” sort of way.
Chocolate does not make one fat. Pick real chocolate (not the imitation kind that is made of corn syrup and corn derivatives and corn), and have it occasionally so you won’t feel that deprivation. (Excuse me for saying this but M&Ms are not chocolate. Nowhere did I ever see the word cocoa butter in their ingredients list). For most people, it’s the portion size that seems to add to the weight gain. I know it is for me….oh, and those flippin’ cookies that I keep baking. With butter. And nuts. And…
The 10 pounds you want to lose I want to lose too, off my bellyhipsbuttarea. So perhaps I will check in occasionally, see how you’re doing.
Plus if you and Otto go for a walk with Licorice several times a day he’s technically participating in the challenge, no? I mean, who doesn’t need MORE exercise? (and this from the chick who stopped walking to pick up the 4yo at the local school because of cold weather…).
Either way, I’ll cheer you on. And myself in the process.
Good luck!
couldn’t resist since the M&M’s were just over there on the counter. Yes, the cocoa butter is in there. First ingredient of M&M’s is chocolate, the sub-list of ingredients includes cocoa butter.
darn, now I went opened the bag!
The general rule of weight loss in my house seems to be: I will work out everyday and eat sensibly, and my husband will lose weight. My husband will never meet a saturate fat or fried salty food that he didn’t love, and I will gain weight. I would be a little terrified to ask him to actually try to lose weight.
This is my punishment for marrying a man who is naturally thinner than me (it runs in his family! They are all like this! Its like metabolisms on rocket fuel and it is not helping my body image AT ALL).
On the other hand, the fact that HIS PANTS ARE TIGHT ON ME is somewhat motivating me to play along at home.
Oooh, pretty people… a community is a GREAT idea. We shall put our heads together and try to figure out how that might work.
Karen, do not begrudge me my flat belly. It’s a build thing; I just happen to carry my weight other places. Baby got back, etc.
Really, the whole metabolism imbalance, now that we’re not all hunter/gatherer-ish is hideously unfair
I really wish there was an easy way to reset your body 
And I also love the idea of a community!
I know that your 10 pounds may seem like a lot, but I’m 50 pounds (or more) overweight and absolutely hate how I look. I hate my body, I hate clothes shopping. Hate it all. I wish I could be more like your husband!
Wow! I’m actually doing a presentation on Body Image in January. I’m amazed at how many women seem to think they are unhealthy in weight, or they have imaginary bulges that they are uncomfortable with in their skin. I’m not sure how I did it, but I’m 230 lbs *Ben and Jerry’s are unholy people when it comes to New York Super Fudge Chunk* at 5′4″ tall. I am, believe it or not, happy with my body.
I figure if you loved that ice cream, chocolate, whatever your fetish may be, enough to eat it in the first place, then why hate the results? If you no longer feel the need to ingratiate the chocolate in your diet, then working so that it reflects on your body (or rather no longer does) isn’t a bad idea. But for heck’s sake, you’re killing the messenger when you hate the body for doing what you taught it to do.
No shame. No guilt. Just move more. I’m setting a goal to make 10,000 steps every day. I’m setting it because my health is suffering for my love of chocolate and other assorted goodies. I wish all of you who are thinking of taking on the challenge to understand that you’re already beautiful. You’re already perfect. You’re already lovely and adored. Carry on.
He was to say “what a load of crap!” just for the sake of irony, but I’ll refrain
Not that I want to be too psychological, have you ever thought about the idea, that if you feed your partner well so that he/she becomes a little less attractive, decreases the chances for amorous escapades with other attractive people?
P.
Baby don’t have too much back if you only need to lose 10 lbs. I got than that just in my trunk. I gained it (20 lbs in 2 wks) on steroids during recovery from surgery. Talk about frustrating! And my body does not want to give it up. I’m totally gonna be joining you in your efforts w/or w/out a community. I hate the way I look & my clothes fit & I’m tired of it. I’m now healthy enough (more or less) to get moving again, which will be my biggest help, so I’m counting on you guys to help keep me motivated.
This is Mr. Joshilyn dropping by to formally state that after school today I’m totally gonna kick Mr. Mir’s weight loss butt. Ten pounds, dude… step up or step off!
I’ll see you on the playground at 3:00. Bring you’re best celery and free weights, dude, ’cause yer going down! Down 10 lbs, that is.
There, that should help.
Stepping up, Mr. Joshilyn. And I may even bring my running shoes.
Well, er, how about a good pair of walking shoes?