Also at Leon’s, home of the Goat Cheese Fondue Frittes, I discovered The Bee’s Knees Royale. It is a dandelion yellow cocktail—- lemon and honey and gin —-that is like having the sweet-tart end of summer in a champagne glass. The Sunday brunch at Café Alsace is a DBF tradition. I got crepes, but I had fruit in lieu of potatoes on the side, and this was because of my extreme and glamorous VIRTUE and not because I secretly do not care for brunch potatoes. Oh. Wait. Did I say the quiet part out loud again?
Look, I didn’t backslide for FRITOS or a hydrogenated oil-clad and waxy Hostess snack cake. These things I ate? They are worth it. A+++!!!!! Would eat again. I remember the taste of those figs and I am not even remotely sorry. AND! Most importantly? I came home, and got RIGHT back on the horse. RIGHT BACK ON. Which is not my usual MO. My MO is, I backslide, I realize I am hopeless, I give completely up and put my head in a feedbag full of the Fritos I have been shunning, and I don’t even LIKE Fritos…
I am trying to be more FRENCH about these things.
And speaking of being more French, I want some fashion. To HAVE some fashion or some ideas about6 it, or maybe even…I don’t know, A LOOK. I want to have a LOOK. I mean, beyond lusting hopelessly after outsize orange leather hobo bags I want to HAVE some sort of internal fashion. Perhaps the 8th season of Project Runway is getting to me…DIGRESSION: And I LIKE Gretched now that everyone hates her. I think she is SUPER, but I never liked Ivy and I still do not. Also, I think that black puff sleeved crotch-strosity Michael C WON with should have gotten him auf’ed. I liked it less than the Pink and Black Lace Prom-monster and Peach’s um….Oh Peach. I can’t dis you. Because you are SO cute and nice. I will just say I liked your dress better than the one that won. But to put that in perpective, I like this hairy bug leg infested ball of slime my cat yacked up better than the one that won. End Digression.
Upshot: I think I would feel better about my less than perfect body if I had a fashion. I want to wear things on my body that I LIKE and which seem to be ME-LIKE, which I have never really felt driven to do before. My idea of fashion is a loose, dark top with jeans. Sometimes, if I am feeling CRAZY inspired, I will put on one of the vintage bead bracelets my friend Anna made me. I want to do better.
Julie says my favorite color is “drab,” but it isn’t just about COLOR. My whole LOOK is best described as drab…I wish I understood clothes and how they go together, and accessories. At DBF, I asked every author who had their own sort of look where and how they had gotten their clothes, and here is the thing—-everyone who looked really COOL to me, really interesting and body-flattered by their clothes, had not bought AN OUTFIT. Not a single one. They would say, “OH I got this top here and this scarf there and these leggings are from ten years ago, and then these boots came from the thrift store near my house, and I made this skirt myself by sewing together my grandmother’s old dishtowels with doll hair yarn.”
NO ONE WHO LOOKS GOOD BUYS OUTFITS. People who look good buy CLOTHES. Then they put the clothes together in ways that look nice on their particular bodies. I never understood that you could DO this. (Yes. I am 42. And I ALSO don’t know how to properly blow dry my hair….I am a complete GIRL-FAIL, I know.)
Me?…If I have to go out in public, I go to Ann Taylor, I look on the mannequins until I find something with a lot of GRAY in it, and then I buy all the pieces that the mannequin is wearing because at least I know they probably GO.
I talked to one woman who looked completely great every time I saw her, and she said such a great line back…she said, “Thanks for saying I have style. I actually have ‘distract from the body.’”
Well call it fashion or distraction, I want some, even though I suspect my body dysmorphia prevents me from recognizing when a single object could actually be flattering when paired with things I already have at home… How do you get a STYLE? Is it a thing you can learn? Or am I shafted? Do you have a fashion or a style? What is it and how do you shop?
I think we need a FASHION challenge here on 5FP, but I am not sure how to structure it…Ideas?