Tuesday, 8th of December 2009 at 10:53:30 PM 
OM NOM NOM photo by Zsuzsanna Kilian
So today I went to the doctor and got ready to explain why I’m so fat. This time last year I’d lost fifty pounds, and she was very, very proud of me. After gaining back some of that weight in the past twelve months, I expected her to glare at me over the top of her glasses when I trotted out my paltry excuses. “Feet! Waaaah!” But she knew about my palmar/plantar troubles and was quite kind.
I told her all about us here at FiveFullPlates, and we had a long talk about diets (she believes that any diet generally works as well as another, but higher protein has been shown to work a teeny bit better) and about dieting in general (she’s not a huge fan.)
Then I told her about the Mayo Clinic’s approach to a plan for eating and living, and she allowed that it couldn’t hurt. Now, I’m not talking about the Faux Mayo “grapefruit diet” that’s been circulating like a virus for at least forty years. You’ve all seen it: you eat the same crap with grapefruit for twelve days, then eat what you want for two days. No one can do that forever.
I’m talking about the Real Mayo Clinic Diet. What makes me think that Mayo’s Plan is a plan I can stick to is their pyramid. It’s the only pyramid I’ve seen that actually has fruits and vegetables at its base, rather than the USDA-lobbying-jack-booted-grain-thugs pyramid and all of its knock-offs. So brave! So provocative!
An aside: have you seen the US National Library of Medicine/National Institutes of Health’s “Diabetic Pyramid?“ As a diabetic myself, I can tell you that if the base of my pyramid was all pasta and bread and corn and rice, my a1c would not be 5.5 (which is very good.)
I don’t want to jinx myself, but my hands and feet seem better this past week. The Humira might be working. When I said goodbye to my doctor, she wished me a joyous holiday and then leaned in and said, “Just enjoy your Christmas. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t worry about any of this now; enjoy yourself.” And she’s right, on the first of the year I’ll be back on my walking routine after a seven month hiatus, and I’ll be eating like a champ.
(Don’t you think that when my doctor said that, she meant, “Have some cookies, cakes, and candies?” In fact, when I think on her words and play them backwards in my head, I can hear that she subliminally told me to have a whoopie pie. I’ve never had a whoopie pie. I think I would LIKE them.
OKAY OKAY, I won’t. Dammit. Why, whoopie pies, WHY DO YOU HAUNT ME?)
You rock. I like the tone of this post because (like most of the others here) it is totally real.
I need a food pyramid that’s got Dove “Give In To Mint” ice cream with a chocolate ganache surface layer right on the bottom.
My short stint with the Paleo diet—which is ultimately how I discovered that I have a problem with wheat—was eye-opening in terms of realizing what a crutch grains are in the typical American diet. I’m not sure I agree with the Paleo “we were never meant to eat them” philosophy, but learning how to cut back on even the whole grains was quite the experience for me.
BUT that’s not why I’m commenting. No. I’m commenting to tell you that I never had a moon pie until last summer, and it was my “I am haunted by these and must have them” item. And it was totally disappointing.
Whoopie pies get good press, but don’t buy the hype.
I agree, I dunno why grains must be completely eschewed in order to be healthy. One assumes that in the “paleo diet” hunters and gatherers had access to grains in season.
I mean, their gathering of such grains are what, in theory, led to at-first-inadvertent, then intentional agriculture.
The problem with today’s diet is that we have BASED our diet on these monoculture staples. And cookies cakes and candies. NOM NOM.
1) WTH is a whoopie pie? Now I want one, and I do not even know what it IS.
2) Mir, you need to hit the moonshine. HARD. (Now, there’s a good use for King Corn.) 1/3rd of a mason jar in, The Moonpie becomes the Food of the Gods. Especially Banana. For those who do not have my relations, and therefore sadly lack access to jars of clear, pungent, homemade liquor, Jack Daniels, up or on the rocks, is equally effective in revealing the hidden charms of the Banana Moon Pie. Or to put it in SAT terms, The BMP is to the big buzz what bacon and diner eggs are to the hangover.
3) HA! jack-booted-grain-thugs!
Gray, I would have heard the same thing! And I don’t know a thing about whoopie pies, but I have plenty of foos taunting me right now.
If you could all just think of me tonight…I’d appreciate it. It’s cookie party night. And I have to dress carefully. Might start a forest fire the way my thighs are rubbing together if I wear wind pants. (Think I’d be safe in the jersey knit yoga pants? Smokey the Bear says…)
Darn IT. I thought for sure I read the real Mayo diet, as in mayonnaise? Condiment of the gods?
I have to say that after looking at the Mayo Clinic pyramid, I’m stumped as to why this isn’t the definitive pyramid out there! It makes so much more sense than eating tons of grains and carbs. I think I may print it out and use it.
Good luck with it, I’m really keen to read about how you all go in the new year!
I’m vegan so while I’m not familiar with the Mayo Diet pyramid, I’m pretty sure it works – carbs are not bad! whole grains are hugely important! it’s like ANYTHING that you eat to the exclusion of other foods that it becomes a problem, and most people overeat processed carbs (and most research I’ve done on nutrition says that most Americans are getting too much protein than they really need, so your doctor’s comment interests me.)
Fiber is your friend – not to be graphic but there’s a reason when you’re in the hospital they ask if you have had a BM today – and ask every day! Whole grains are vital. Simple carbs, on the other hand, have no purpose – the refined white stuff, or on the flip side the nutrient-empty stuff like potato chips or french fries.
Oh no! Carbohydrates are our source of energy! I <3 them. However, fruits and vegetables (and some whole grains) are a far more wholesome source of carbohydrates than processed crackers, additive-laden breads-in-bag and whoopie pies, though (sweet, sweet whoopie pies…)
Yanno, I learned when figuring out how to control my blood glucose that 60% of protein converts to carbs over the course of seven hours. I hope I remembered that right. So even a hunk of steamed fish hands you some energy to work with.
That cheap, lightweight, easy to ship and store product that Nabisco and Kellog's and General Foods sell isn't good for me. Even if they add some fiber back and call it whole grain, it just isn't.
Promoting 6-11 servings of pasta, bread, rice, and that sort of thing as the foundation for a healthy diet is a disservice to the country. Even whole grains if eaten as the bulk of one's diet are not an optimum human diet in my opinion.
I want leaves! Roots! hunks of plants!
Amen sistah! (cept the part about the fish – I’d rather just eat the veggies and have it all convert quicker than 7 hrs sitting in my digestive tract
)
after looking at the mayo pyramid, it occurred to me that the government pyramid might still be more sensibly arranged, if by totalling the fruit veg servings you get a greater number than the grain. Since I couldn’t remember what the numbers were, I went to mypyramid.gov. WELL!
I’ve been out of the US a while. Meantime, the stacked up pyramid now resembles a wedge! (as in cheese! mmmm…) and a quick search of the usda’s site did not reveal a clear graphic of what those colored mini-wedges that make it up are meant to represent. I wasn’t going to click on 3 or 4 different options per color to figure this out, my interest is done. If you can’t get the basic premise of a graphic without lots of words to explain it, the graphic has failed.
Further searches led me to the Harvard pyramid, with exercise at the base, followed by a layer of plants based foods: fruits & veg & grains roughly equal, plus some plant derived oils. The University of Michigan pyramid has 9 levels, beginning with water, then fruit & veg, then grains, then, plant based proteins get their very own level 4. Unique. above that, seasonings & healthy fats. Then, dairy & eggs. Then fish & seafood. Finally, meat. They have a tiny penultimate layer near the top for tea, chocolate & alcohol, which may be beneficial in certain amounts. The tippy top of the point is a spot for you to put in something you need. more chocolate for me! or coffee.
all this is very interesting to ponder.
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