So today I went to the doctor and got ready to explain why I’m so fat. This time last year I’d lost fifty pounds, and she was very, very proud of me. After gaining back some of that weight in the past twelve months, I expected her to glare at me over the top of her glasses when I trotted out my paltry excuses. “Feet! Waaaah!” But she knew about my palmar/plantar troubles and was quite kind.
I told her all about us here at FiveFullPlates, and we had a long talk about diets (she believes that any diet generally works as well as another, but higher protein has been shown to work a teeny bit better) and about dieting in general (she’s not a huge fan.)
Then I told her about the Mayo Clinic’s approach to a plan for eating and living, and she allowed that it couldn’t hurt. Now, I’m not talking about the Faux Mayo “grapefruit diet” that’s been circulating like a virus for at least forty years. You’ve all seen it: you eat the same crap with grapefruit for twelve days, then eat what you want for two days. No one can do that forever.
I’m talking about the Real Mayo Clinic Diet. What makes me think that Mayo’s Plan is a plan I can stick to is their pyramid. It’s the only pyramid I’ve seen that actually has fruits and vegetables at its base, rather than the USDA-lobbying-jack-booted-grain-thugs pyramid and all of its knock-offs. So brave! So provocative!
An aside: have you seen the US National Library of Medicine/National Institutes of Health’s “Diabetic Pyramid?“ As a diabetic myself, I can tell you that if the base of my pyramid was all pasta and bread and corn and rice, my a1c would not be 5.5 (which is very good.)
I don’t want to jinx myself, but my hands and feet seem better this past week. The Humira might be working. When I said goodbye to my doctor, she wished me a joyous holiday and then leaned in and said, “Just enjoy your Christmas. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t worry about any of this now; enjoy yourself.” And she’s right, on the first of the year I’ll be back on my walking routine after a seven month hiatus, and I’ll be eating like a champ.
(Don’t you think that when my doctor said that, she meant, “Have some cookies, cakes, and candies?” In fact, when I think on her words and play them backwards in my head, I can hear that she subliminally told me to have a whoopie pie. I’ve never had a whoopie pie. I think I would LIKE them.
OKAY OKAY, I won’t. Dammit. Why, whoopie pies, WHY DO YOU HAUNT ME?)