Did anyone notice I didn’t post last week? No one noticed, right? The problem was that last Wednesday night my body was preparing for an…event of sorts, one that happens PERIODICALLY, if you follow. But being clueless and somewhat prone to hormonal insanity, I was convinced that what was actually happening was that my life was drowning in despair and forlorn uselessness. I was needed in my bed, soaking my pillow with bitter tears. And then the morning dawned and I opened my eyes and thought “hmm. What was that all about?”
It’s just magical, being a woman.
Anyhow, I didn’t have anything wonderful to share with you because would you like to know what I have achieved thus far? Would you?
I believe the medical term for the advances I’ve made thus far is “jack-all.”
Zero pounds lost.
I can’t imagine how this has happened, given that I…haven’t really made any changes. Heh, heh.
But the good news is that I’m feeling strong again. After my earlier bout with mono (MONO! Like an eighth grader or something!), I’ve finally regained my equilibrium, and I’m ready to tackle this again. As a matter of fact, I have started weight training again, and am proud to say that I have successfully achieved soreness. More than once.
So now that I’m feeling like myself again, I started poking around to find a weight loss approach. Because I love my body, and appreciate it just the way it is, and am so grateful for its hearty strength and capable ways, but I am sick of having my belly bounce along in front of me like an amiable shar-pei puppy. For heaven’s sake.
So I started my search in a very scientific manner, and poked through the magazines at the gym. I found an article about some guy who, for a mere 25 THOUSAND DOLLARS will write you your own little book, telling you exactly what to eat and when and he will have personal training sessions with you and the results will be miraculous and wonderful. People lose entire fourth graders worth of fat in a single month and are healthy and glowy and don’t have loose skin. Never mind that if I lost 60 pounds I would be on death’s door, it still sounds AWESOME.
Except I don’t have 25 grand to spend on the diet guru. And all I could find out about his eating program was that it includes things like dandilion greens and acai berries and sweet potatoes. And maca root, which sounds made up. I’m sorry, but i’m not eating dandilion greens or made up roots. I refuse to eat acai berries, on the grounds that they are trendy, and sweet potatoes are fine, but in small doses.
It seems I’m not destined to lose an enormous amount of weight with the diet guru.
But then! I got a notice from the library, telling me that a book I’d requested was finally ready to check out. And it turned out to be a diet book! A REVOLUTIONARY diet book! Perfect!
Except it turns out that the guy who wrote the book is maybe revolutionary in the crazy-head sort of way. He’s certain that I need to meditate and take giant fistfuls of fish oil pills, and my body will decide that it really wants to be thin.
I have spoken with my body. It really wants to eat yummy things.
So I’m back, again, where I started. Sensible diet, sincere exercise. Consider this post my cry of “DO OVER!” and here is what I am committing to:
1 – weight training, 3 days a week
2 – cardiovascular exercise, 5 days a week (this means I will have to actually exercise on the mornings I drop my son off at school, instead of dropping him off and musing to myself about how I COULD exercise now, if I wanted to)
3 – starting tomorrow, I track my eating on FitDay, because just logging it makes me think about it.
I figure those goals are doable. Making changes isn’t easy, we all know, but I don’t think life is ever going to say oh hey, wait, let’s cut Kira some slack, because she would like to lose 15 pounds, and that’s tough. Life marches on, and I figure I should too.
So Operation Do-Over starts….NOW.