Let me tell you a dirty little secret: sometimes, late at night, when I’m all alone in front of the television…I watch something, something with half-naked sweaty men ALL OVER IT. And oh, BABY I WANT ME SOME.
Some P90X, that is. I want it, BAD.
I’m sure you’ve seen the infomercials with that guy, that fitness guru type who trains HOLLYWOOD STARS, which means, of course, that he is rilly popular and ripped.
They have those seductive before and after pictures of men and women. Before: slovenly, doughy sofa-surfer (looks like me!) After: hardbody sex-kitten. Those photos never lie. I refuse to look at any small print that declaims “results not typical.” I want believe this is a magic bullet that will absolutely get me into ninja fighting-shape.
(Regarding before-and-after photos: there is an amusing article in the Las Vegas Weekly about how YOU TOO CAN LOSE 20 LBS IN 2 HOURS just by doing a few tricky things that many before-and-after photo people do.)
But P90X costs $120 (in three easy credit card payments! Order now and 5-day shipping is FREE!) and that’s too much for something that looks hard enough to murder me. And it looks very hard. I would probably lie down until it was over.
Even so, they have people on there saying, “When I first started I could barely do, like, ten percent of what they do on the DVD, but look at me now! Now I can DO IT ALL!” I find that kind of talk hard to resist. I bet I couldn’t do ten percent either! In three months I could look as fit as that girl! Results not typical!
And I want to do it, baby so bad. Have any of our readers done P90X? Did you like it and your results?
I think it’s too good to be true, sadly. My muscles will likely be forced to remain unaddled, to be knowledgeable and to experience clarity.
At mile 48 Frodo has taken us on a really crappy shortcut through some wilderness to get to the ferry landing. YES, there were Black Riders behind us, but I’m getting all scratched up, we have seven more miles of this nonsense, and it’s about to rain.
In Real Life, I went two miles in my neighborhood today instead of going to the lake because my kids are out of the house for HOURS and I knew I could get some writing done.
We’re having a cold, cold summer this year, and the fog off of the Pacific hangs low in the morning, muffling and dreary-ing everything into silence. Even my shoes are very quiet. While putting in my road work, I heard a distant dryer running, a child laughing one street over, and birds twittering and rustling overhead.
This is the vacation month. A couple of SUVs sat half packed (or half UN-packed) in their driveways, partially full of bikes, lawn chairs, and suitcases, and several blind and locked-up houses had outdoor lights on in the middle of the day. I saw no one. My neighborhood echoes like a ghost town. I love it.
I love the quiet and the cool drizzle, I love the heavy scent of flowers that hangs low in the still morning air, block after block. I love how in the afternoons the sun appears for a grudging couple of hours and warms my skin while the wind rising off of the bay gives me a cool slap. Dreamy AND refreshing!
Last week I forgot to show you all this excellent tool I use for calculating mileage when I’m walking around. I just click around on the map where I walked and voila, I have a number to add to my trip calculations.
I’m down two pounds, but I don’t trust it. That’s only two pints of water. I’ll believe it when I can see ten pounds gone.
Where do you work out? In your basement? The gym? Your neighborhood? The pool? I wish that you guys could do that here, I want to be inspired. Post some links to your Photobucket or Flickr or something that shows where you work out .
In other news, after reading Joss’ previous post, I went to the produce market and brought home piles of peaches, avocados, tomatoes, melons, etc. I’ve cut portions and am eating more fruits and vegetables, but I still like butter and chocolate too much. Look, there’s an opportunity for improvement!