The Random Number Generator has spoken, and it loves the Early Bird today. Not the Earliest bird. But pretty dern close. Bird 2, SillyMe, who said, in a comment that made me snork coffee out my nose, “I started the day with a doughnut. After that fail the rest of the day is automatically healthier than that and therefore a win! Yeay, me! I went on to workout hard and the guilt from the (fabulously tasty and so worth it) doughnut will keep me in check all day. -I can justify just about ANYTHING.”
I like how that girl thinks, and I hope she enjoys her fitness goodies, courtesy of Go Red For Women’s Better U program.
Meanwhile, Operation Lose a Schubert if off to a slow, fat, bitchy, old start, which considering I have named the challenge after my slow, fat, bitchy, old 17.5 pound cat is NO surprise. I am taking a page from BETTER U however, and I am doing this one slow, fat, bitchy, old step at a time.
This last week, I got back on the exercise horse, working out like it was my religion. Of course, at meal time I acted like a Donnor Party Survivor cut loose on an All You Can Eat Soilant Green buffet table But, she said primly, getting my eating back under control was not my official GOAL. My goal was to rekindle my love affair with endorphins, and I am calling this week a strong NOT FAIL.
While on writing retreat I hiked the mountains for a mile and a half twice a day, and after the first hike I did plank jacks, sit ups and push-ups. Once home, I have alternated Boot Camp with the 30 Day Shred, and I feel, subjectively, under my post-surgical seventeen and a half pound layer of Schubert, my muscle memory is kicking in. I am less tired. I can run faster and farther. I can do more push-ups and more sit ups in a row. Plank Jacks no longer make me want to kill myself. They just make me want to kill Jillian Michaels, an altogether more mentally healthy and reasonable response.
If you don’t know from Plank Jacks, here’s Becky, a woman I think I could also grow to loathe in a mentally healthy and reasonable way, showing you how to properly do one.
This week, I shall begin working on my food stuff, but slowly, and in an ORDERLY fashion. I STILL have not chosen a diet plan – and I think I need a structured one to make ANY kind of actual headway, my hormones still being all UPROARIOUS and angry about having chunks of my abdominal organs hacked out and carted away. I am JUST not there yet.
I am SO bored of Weight Watchers, I don’t want to go into ketosis so Atkins is out, and as much as I love South Beach, my friends just brought me back teo sacks of fresh ground local whole grain wheat flour from a near-by mill AND bought a bread machine off Woot.com (CUISINART!!! LESS THAN HALF OF WHAT IT COSTS ELSEWHERE!!!!) The idea of having to track everything or not eat bread or WHATEVER; GAH. But I have to do something. Anyone have any NON WW ATKINS SB healthy ideas? I feel like I have SO FAR TO GO and A SCHUBERT is a huge, fat, old bitchy obstacle. I am prediscouraged just thinking of it. LOOK AT IT, sitting by its empty bowls, glaring balefully and refusing to read perfectly delightful literary fiction.
SO! Here is my step: I will eat FIVE servings of fresh fruit and vegetables every day. This week, that is all I can manage, to re-introduce a pre-surgery good habit, not to take away a post surgery incredibly comforting bad one. It is my hope that eating a butt ton of salad and cantaloupe will fill me up so I eat less CHIPS, but hey, this week, I will call just reaching for an apple or leftover green beans first, GOOD. Even if I have the chips after.
If I succeed in this, then NEXT week, bolstered by two weeks of NOT FAIL. I may try giving up… SUGAR. I should do that NOW, I know, but giving up sugar feels, today, about as possible (and as pleasant) as giving up oxygen. Or maybe by next week one of you will have directed me to an ACTUAL diet plan that looks fresh and exciting. *hopeful eyebrows*