HI! My book comes out on June 8th. It is already in about half the stores. I head out on book tour this week (so please come out and see me if I am coming to a place near you), and I am freaking right the freaky Friday out. I completely gave up learning to meditate. I did TRY the free guided meditations, and the soothing-ness was about to make me punch my monitor in the face until it died. I was so ready to punch and punch that I was not worrying about the broken finger bones, although to be fair, this may only be because of all of the potential electrocution.
SO I quit learning to meditate and even bounced out of yoga the SECOND we finished flexing our hip stressers, or stretching our flex hipsters, or unhipping our flexor stressers or whatever the track before shavasana is. Bounced out, I say, puffy tail extra fluffed and pleased to stop smelling yoga feet and with my mind abuzz with yammering hope and obsessive packing lists and gnawing worry, and I am not sorry.
But this does not mean I do not wish to LEARN. I do. I am all about the knowledge. I just don’t want to learn “inner peace.”
INSTEAD I learned how to make movies using only my Netbook and an object I CONSTANTLY refer to as my Flip Phone. It is not a Flip Phone. You can stand there with it stuck to your head, poking buttons and yelling into it, and you will not phone anyone. You may, however, get a REALLY close up shot of your inner ear. It is called a FLIP. It is Sans Phone. Its main purposes in life are 1) Making Movies and 2) Being Tiny. It is so light and easy to use I am considering hiring a monkey to come on tour with me and run the thing.
I thought it would be fun to VLOG my various locations as I tour for Backseat Saints. Ever been to Mequon, Wisconsin? Well, on June 24th you can go along with me on a virtual Flip (phone) tour. (I know. I just can’t stop. PHONE is the word that rightfully and always comes after FLIP in my head.)
So to practice, pre-Mequon, Maisy and I decided to make a film. Scott did about 60% of the camera work. The part where the camera is still and you don’t want to puke is his part. The part where the camera goes crashing about like it has been tied to a rabbit who refuses to meditate and who may or may not be on fire, that’s the part I taped. I EDITED IT ALL. MY OWN SELF. WITH NO HELP. (Which is why some of the end words cut off. But it was my first try.)
Not only did I learn to make movies, but in the Spirit of MirWantedARecipeChallenge, my first movie is COOKING. I hope you guys like it. I will get better. I HAVE to. For those keeping score? I have now failed every single challenge, from 10 in 10 to meditation, and it is about time I felt moderately winnish for a change.
As you saw, we didn’t go through how to make the filling, figuring you can do the tuna salad without watching me chop celery. The ingredients and instructions are below if you want to make this with your kids at home. Maisy and I had a blast!
1 Pack of Tuna in Water (It calls for the 7 ounce can, drained, but we used the 6.something ounce pouch of white albacore)
1 cup grated sharp cheddar (We used 2%)
¼ cup chopped celery
¼ cup chopped Vidalia onion (Not in actual recipe—but put it in. You will be happier.)
2 TBS sweet pickle relish
1 TBS mustard (They say Dijon, we used regular.)
¼ tsp pepper
¼ cup Mayo (We used Hellman’s Light.)
Toss together everything but the mayo. Then add the mayo and stir. Put in the fridge. THE END.