Monday, 31st of May 2010 at 08:30:18 PM 
HI! My book comes out on June 8th. It is already in about half the stores. I head out on book tour this week (so please come out and see me if I am coming to a place near you), and I am freaking right the freaky Friday out. I completely gave up learning to meditate. I did TRY the free guided meditations, and the soothing-ness was about to make me punch my monitor in the face until it died. I was so ready to punch and punch that I was not worrying about the broken finger bones, although to be fair, this may only be because of all of the potential electrocution.
SO I quit learning to meditate and even bounced out of yoga the SECOND we finished flexing our hip stressers, or stretching our flex hipsters, or unhipping our flexor stressers or whatever the track before shavasana is. Bounced out, I say, puffy tail extra fluffed and pleased to stop smelling yoga feet and with my mind abuzz with yammering hope and obsessive packing lists and gnawing worry, and I am not sorry.
But this does not mean I do not wish to LEARN. I do. I am all about the knowledge. I just don’t want to learn “inner peace.”
INSTEAD I learned how to make movies using only my Netbook and an object I CONSTANTLY refer to as my Flip Phone. It is not a Flip Phone. You can stand there with it stuck to your head, poking buttons and yelling into it, and you will not phone anyone. You may, however, get a REALLY close up shot of your inner ear. It is called a FLIP. It is Sans Phone. Its main purposes in life are 1) Making Movies and 2) Being Tiny. It is so light and easy to use I am considering hiring a monkey to come on tour with me and run the thing.
I thought it would be fun to VLOG my various locations as I tour for Backseat Saints. Ever been to Mequon, Wisconsin? Well, on June 24th you can go along with me on a virtual Flip (phone) tour. (I know. I just can’t stop. PHONE is the word that rightfully and always comes after FLIP in my head.)
So to practice, pre-Mequon, Maisy and I decided to make a film. Scott did about 60% of the camera work. The part where the camera is still and you don’t want to puke is his part. The part where the camera goes crashing about like it has been tied to a rabbit who refuses to meditate and who may or may not be on fire, that’s the part I taped. I EDITED IT ALL. MY OWN SELF. WITH NO HELP. (Which is why some of the end words cut off. But it was my first try.)
Not only did I learn to make movies, but in the Spirit of MirWantedARecipeChallenge, my first movie is COOKING. I hope you guys like it. I will get better. I HAVE to. For those keeping score? I have now failed every single challenge, from 10 in 10 to meditation, and it is about time I felt moderately winnish for a change.
As you saw, we didn’t go through how to make the filling, figuring you can do the tuna salad without watching me chop celery. The ingredients and instructions are below if you want to make this with your kids at home. Maisy and I had a blast!
1 Pack of Tuna in Water (It calls for the 7 ounce can, drained, but we used the 6.something ounce pouch of white albacore)
1 cup grated sharp cheddar (We used 2%)
¼ cup chopped celery
¼ cup chopped Vidalia onion (Not in actual recipe—but put it in. You will be happier.)
2 TBS sweet pickle relish
1 TBS mustard (They say Dijon, we used regular.)
¼ tsp pepper
¼ cup Mayo (We used Hellman’s Light.)
Toss together everything but the mayo. Then add the mayo and stir. Put in the fridge. THE END.
Lurv it! I’m totally trying that recipe because you & Maisy made it look so FUN!
As for the Flip, now I totally want a life interesting enough to video it. I look forward to more vlogs!
“The egg is borked”! LOL
Maisy is even cuter in action than in photos. Looks like y’all had fun. : )
When I saw the book in the ingredients, I couldn’t stop laughing! And the “It doesn’t go in the recipe, it goes in the chef” part was pretty hilarious too!
You’re coming to Milwaukee again? Yay! I missed you last time (I tried; it’s better for me not to relive that experience) but will be there with bells on this time! (maybe not actual bells, though I do have a set of reindeer antlers on a headband that has little bells that ring…don’t ask).
And the video is adorable. Daisy has a future in impressions!
Aaah, you’re BOTH cute! And I didn’t notice the jumpy part of the camera action, so your filming wasn’t as horrid as you thought.
My recipes never come out like the pictures either, but they taste good.
Very subtle product placement, BTW.
Dude, you are a lying liar who sits upon a throne of lies, on account of EITHER you made this video months ago OR you have been VICIOUSLY EXAGGERATING about how much weight you have supposedly gained. You look fabulous! And Maisy Jane is turning into a GIRL rather than a CHILD and it made me sniffle a little. But she is still adorable.
But here is the question: Did picky Maisy actually EAT the fishies??
How fun! Great video — I particularly liked your tone when you noted that the cupcakes are [insert pause] pink.
I second what Mir said – you look so pretty, and Maisy’s a charmer, and I usually feel like I’m going to puke with any kind of hand-held camera work and I thought it was fine. Can’t wait to see the book tour videos!
I smell an Oscar!!
The egg is borked? I thought Maisy said “The egg is bored.” And I can tell you think unnaturally pink food is just as wonderful as I do. Will definitely try this recipe. Maybe it will encourage my little picky one to eat tuna.
You and Miss Maisy are beautiful, clever, and funny! I’m sure your fishes were tastier than the one in the cookbook photo, too.
And I think you should name your Flip … Wilson.
OMG! I totally need to get myself an adorable little assistant for every time I cook dinner now! It looks like you two had so much fun, and your fish are WAY better looking than that one in the book. : )
You are a NUT.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
I am still laughing at the heights of delight you and your nuclear are creating together, sharing your life with the rest of us. I felt drawn in to join your group so I could say Thanks! You made my day!
See you at the BRCC Book Festival this weekend.
Ciao bella,
Alatheia
p.s. I’ll bite. What does Miss Maisy mean by ‘the egg is borked’?
Hmmmm, I see you’ll be in Asheville/Flat Rock this weekend. I live just down the mountain in SC, maybe I can (very shyly) make the trip…
PS: I agree, who wants tuna salad without vidalia onion?
PPS: ARRRGH, I still want the dress on the cover of the artfully-placed product!
So today I turned in my absence request form at work. Yes, I took off a day of work so I can go to Mequon on June 24. I’ve convinced my mom that we can make a day of it, hit several quilt shops, and tie it all up with a book signing.
Oh, sweet Maisy is all GROWN and big and not-quacky! When did THAT HAPPEN? She is lovely. You are lovely.
However, I have to dissent on the onion. You ask: who doesn’t want vidalias in their tuna salad? I answer: ME. Sorry. I am a child.