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Where I was last week. The lake, the lake! You may remember my bravado from such posts as No Excuses, where I asserted with vigor that nothing was going to stop me now. I meant it when I said it, but in my amnesiac optimism I forgot that in the weeks before my Stelara injection [...] I couldn't find an image of Tom Bombadil that didn't make him look like a creeper, so here's his house. OR, How Many Topics Will I Cram Into One Post? Ten miles this week, now at mile 99. Spent a lovely time at Tom Bombadil’s. Missed eating meat, though. They appear to be vegetarian. We set [...] Aaaaand….GO! Hey, wait, what's that? Did anyone notice I didn’t post last week? No one noticed, right? The problem was that last Wednesday night my body was preparing for an…event of sorts, one that happens PERIODICALLY, if you follow. But being clueless and somewhat prone to hormonal insanity, I was convinced that what was actually [...]
Hey, look! A Metaphor! I come to report that here in week 4 or 5 or whatever it is, I am down 5/17ths of a Schubert. Or, in non-mentally ill parlance, down five pounds. My fat jeans that I was barely wedging my carcass into have loosened and I can wear a couple of [...] I have made a grave error. Very grave! I have named my BODY FAT after my old fat bitchy cat, Schubert. I am trying to lose one Schubert (about 17 and a half pounds) because that’s what I gained as I lay in the bed, post surgery, eating post surgical mac-n-chee with pounds of post [...] I somehow feel an affinity for a living thing that wants to eat everything in sight. No idea why. There is a monster eating the eucalyptus trees that line the creek in my neighborhood. Its name is Morning Glory, which is polite-speak for an imported pestilence that threatens to devour half the state of California. [...]
My actual sneakers, poka-dotted laces and all. Apparently I’m 5. I am so good at sabotaging myself, I am thinking of teaching it as a half-day course. “The art of being completely counter-productive and simultaneous self-loathing,” I shall call it. Except that that’s entirely too long, and I’m thinking no one is actually going to [...] So…this would be breakfast? Recently Michelle Obama gave an interview to the Ladies’ Home Journal, and one of the things she mentioned is the fact that she occasionally does a “sort of cleanse” consisting of mostly fruit and vegetables, and shunning fats, oil, dairy, meat, caffeine, sugar and starch for a little while. I read [...] The Random Number Generator has spoken, and it loves the Early Bird today. Not the Earliest bird. But pretty dern close. Bird 2, SillyMe, who said, in a comment that made me snork coffee out my nose, “I started the day with a doughnut. After that fail the rest of the day is automatically [...] What? You don't think I can be wise? So here we are at the finish line for this first Full Plate challenge. At our last weigh- in I was 3.5 pounds away from victory, so I suppose I should sigh and confess that I haven’t won. However, I am the current champion in magical thinking, [...] |
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